Elsa, if you’re reading this…then I’m sorry. I’m more sorry to Patty to you but I’ll be sorry to you too by the time this post is over. I had no idea my blog was a worldwide phenomenon. That can be easily established by my specific posts regarding how local Peruvians do not read my blog. But Patty. But Patty did. She read it. How she read it, I’m not sure. And because I am not sure, I have decided to dedicate numerous entries confessing my love for the staff of Inabif. I’d like to let Patty know that my post was all in good fun and obviously exaggerated for comedic effect. Granted, if someone from a new country that barely spoke my language wrote an entire ode about their love for me I’d probably be freaked out by it as well. Patty, if you’re reading this, or if you ever hear this off hand, know I said that all as a joke. A running joke. Marlene, which is probably spelled wrong, made me promise that Patty and I would at least be amigos. I believe I’ve noted that. Just from that I spun a narrative of love and loss because it was entertaining and I thought people back home would get a kick out of it. I don’t know if that was the case but at the very least it confused people. It confused and creeped out people. My blog everyone! Just know this Patty, you’re probably an exceptional person because most of the staff at Inabif is. But I don’t have a sense of longing for you, your eyes are bright with or without me, and I’ll accept a reality in which we are not an item. The post was a farce. You get it. I’m not that weird.
Moving on. I love you, Elsa. When I first heard your name aloud, I dreamt of all the adventures we could have. Making snowmen in the desert city of Lima. Riding slow sleds in the desert city of Lima. Fighting ice monsters in the desert city of Lima. And whatever the hell else happened during the plot of that movie. I more remember the songs. They were catchy songs. I also remember the one time that I was moving boxes into a room where you were just sitting at a desk writing things on a piece of paper. What were you writing? I don’t know. Probably “Wow, look at this gringo, what a fine piece of man. He’s all that I could ever want in a human. Wow. Wow. Wow.” At one point, your primal instincts came over and that was all you could muster. You were at a loss for words. You just knew love. You just knew the overwhelming feelings of lust. I know you and I, we don’t even work near each other. Sometimes we see each other in passing. Sometimes you see me casually flexing my muscles. Sometimes you see me bathing myself in hose water and covering my luscious locks in a fine mist. Those things are inescapable. Just like our pairing is. We’re the same age! Something I did not even know for the first five weeks but it does help to explain the deep connection I’ve felt even before I came to Peru. I can be your Anna, Elsa. Or…the prince equivalent from the movie. Maybe it was a poor choice of words to choose being your sister. That’s just how I am though. I show my flaws. I show my flaws because if you can’t handle me at my worst then you don’t deserve me at my best. Elsa though, you do deserve me at all my times. We can make it happen. We’ll make that snowman.
P.S. If anyone from Inabif actually reads this, this is also in the same vein as the Patty post. It is not real. It is for my entertainment. I do not love you. Yet.