Kids.

“Have you been here before? It seems that the kids just gravitate right towards you.” That comment struck a chord in me. A chord which has been struck many times over during these past four months but it might have finally been the straw the broke the camel’s back. I can’t, or rather don’t want to envision a reality in which I don’t work with children. I had said that ideally I wanted to work with kids before or that was always something I considered but I didn’t have much experience to back up that claim. Now, I just can’t see myself doing something else. I enjoy writing, I’m glad that I have been writing, but writing is also something I might like to do for fun just because. I thought that but I never was writing much of anything. Because I didn’t ever feel inspired to do so. Sure, now I feel I can pull words out of thin air sometimes and make stories out of nothing but it’s because I feel things now. I feel inspired. And why do I feel inspired? Because of these damn little rascals. They may be little terrors and they may murder birds (that’s a story for another day), but as much as they torment me, I can’t see myself being away from them for too long. I had other plans to write a much different blog today except we went to visit an orphanage this afternoon. I know that I work in an “orphanage” but as I’ve said before it’s a transitory home, with a max staying time of six months, and if their parents get better then they go back home and if they don’t then they go the real orphanage like I visited today. Upon arriving to the orphanage, I instantly had a cute little fella come up to me and tell me to lift him up and then he proceeded to call me Papa. Instantaneously. This happened with another boy who rode me like a horse and who rode my shoulders and who just rode around on however my body could transport him. I’m not sure if I give off that fatherly vibe, but hey man, I’ll take it. If these kids have gone through some stuff and they don’t have a dad around then I’ll gladly try to provide a positive influence for as long as I can. It just sucks when you have to leave them. This was only a few hours there and by the end, you’re like “Man, so how do I go about adopting one of these spry young chicos?” I’m not saying I want to be a dad, or at least at the moment. I just do like having that influence, being a good figure if I can be. Just like later during the trip when a girl remarked, “These kids just really seem to like you. Wherever you go, the young ones are always drawn to you.” And that’s true. I’ve always said that I get along with young children compared to people my own age and maybe they can see that I’m just like them but in a larger, doughier body. This is another post that’s more just vague thoughts than concrete ideas and that’s okay. Okay with me at least. Like I wouldn’t tell you I want to be a teacher, because I don’t even know if I can do that. I love working with kids, I love interacting with kids, I love being like a kid. What I don’t like is disciplining a child, it’s just not me, and especially when they’re coming from a bleak background (like I’ve mentioned before.) It’s like I want to be the cool uncle. Maybe I can work on being the harsh but cool dad too. See, now I’m trying to think of ideas of things I could do with kids and I’m going off the rails. I remember long ago, during a late night chat when I just said I want to work with children from maybe more dilapidated communities and introduce culture into their life. Movies, theatre, books, music, bring those things to get them to truly appreciate the things that also matter and can brighten up their existence in some way. Let’s not get into that. Let’s just get into this being a moment where again, things are coming into place. Maybe not logistical plans but for me, even having a semblance of an idea is better than what I’ve done for the past couple of years. I’m just trying to say I love these kids and they seem to love me. I wasn’t even called a monster today. That’s not true. But I was also told I have beautiful eyes so I think they cancel each other out. I also don’t even know if I finished my thoughts about writing and inspiration and all that jazz. The kids are great, the kids make me feel great, when I feel great I write about it because sometimes I believe my blog has the capacity to make others feel great. That was the gist of it. Let’s not get too deep here. Let’s just say, I’m really glad I’m doing what I’m doing and kids are great and people that think they’re gross are foreign to me but now I sound like a xenophobic person but you know what I mean. So it goes.

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