The first of 52.

When the year was new, I made a promise to myself that I would write 50,000+ words on this site and finally write the musical that I’ve talked about doing for years. It is now almost halfway through March and the last post I made on this blog was last summer. I didn’t even write something about me graduating college in a nine-year span? What about getting into graduate school? Leaving Alabama? Insulating an entire shed without getting particle glass in my testicles?! It’s not like I have the most interesting life in the world but I could have talked about something in the last seven or eight months. Better late than never though right? He says this and then he never writes another post until ten years from now celebrating the birth of his first child, who’s really just an inner city kid he adopted. Why did I randomly change points of view for just one sentence? These are all questions I do not have the answers to but I shall blame on the fact that I haven’t written anything that wasn’t related to school for months now. As I’ve said countless times throughout this site’s history, I have a vague idea of what I might want to say before I type the first letter and then as soon as I do all that planning goes out the window and I just plop down the first thing that escapes my brain and I make sure to never return and actually edit it. Which is why I have things like this long-as-hell run on sentence that I could have easily improved upon.

Maybe I’ll include more pointless paragraph breaks for no other reason than readability. I already ignore normal things like indents and correct punctuation, but some spacing could prove beneficial. Except then I think that Jack Kerouac wrote his magnum opus in one long typewritten scroll. Except then after that, I think about how I read that and had to give up halfway through because I couldn’t stand how it was formatted any longer. Plus, I’m not regarded as a great writer in a literary generation…for now.

The bad part about taking a break in the writing process, and no, I’m done talking about my months-long hiatus, I’m speaking about the five-minute break I just took. Okay. Well shit. Even more important to comment on than that five-minute break is that immediately after writing that sentence I added on an extra 200 words and then I hit undo because I screwed something up and it deleted everything and it wouldn’t let me redo. Was anyone going to give a shit about my anecdote about how I feel self-conscious about how I’m noticing the length of my fingernails while I type this? No, that’s not the point. What is the point? The point is that I was speaking of how I may not have an idea about what I’m writing half the time, but I enjoy the experience of just putting it all on the page regardless. What I do not enjoy is writing about that and then having to repeat myself except nobody knows I repeated myself because nobody will notice what I wrote that is now disappeared forever. Do I blame my fingernails for it? You betcha I do. Also, no, I am not going to the University of Minnesota for graduate school but I did watch Fargo at one point over the time period since the last blog post so maybe I’ve picked up a Minnesotan dialect.

I could have very easily said this was the first of 50, not the first of 52. Originally I was planning to write one post a week for the entire year. Then that didn’t happen and then I thought about how when DC Comics rebooted their universe they named all the new comics “The New 52.” So I was taking that for inspiration while at the same time realizing I do not read comic books, nor do I even watch the DC superhero films so why am I doing an homage to something that matters so little to me. Then I reminded myself that I do not change a title once I choose it (and though that may not be true), I do not remember all my blog rules so it’s a new rule for this next year. And during this hiatus, I did give away a lot of action figures and was given a gift certificate to a comic book store so if I shoehorn in the occasional reference it’s for their sake. I also can not believe that I spelled occasional right without having to use a spell check. Haha, you’re right, I’m a prankster! I actually spelled the word wrong two times in a row and spell check didn’t pick up on it so now I look like a total idiot but since I can’t go back and delete that sentence I have to make my shame public.

As I’ve said countless times in this post and prior, I do enjoy just typing out words and seeing what happens. However, I can also understand that stream of consciousness blabbering without any semblance of a plot is not the most entertaining things for people who aren’t the one streaming. Seeing as how I’m actually going to try to be committed to somehow getting 51 more of these out before the years ends, I will try to at least have a topic, a theme, at the very least an idea of what I want to say. Yes, it’ll probably be derailed within the first 100 words and I’ll end up somewhere out of left field, but I’m going to try to make these a bit more coherent. I just didn’t want to exclusively wait for big events to be the catalyst for a new blog post. I originally started this as a way to detail my time abroad, and I did that, and I did a lot of that, but it also evolved into just a glimpse into my own head, my own thoughts and feelings, kind of like a public talk therapy session for the world. I want to continue that. I would always feel better just laying it all on the table, exposing myself (in a non-criminal, not indecent exposure kinda way) and I’ve missed that. I never know who reads these things, I can’t imagine many do, but whatever desperate fans have been clamoring for more, Hank has heard your beck and call. Now I just went to third person point of view? I’ve used first, second, and the third person all in the span of a thousand something words. That is not how one is supposed to write. I’m rusty. Hopefully, there’s a little bit of improvement in the coming installments. So it goes.

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