The Cake/55 Shades of Gay

The majority of these plays, musicals, what have you that I’ve seen, I haven’t seen alone. I have nothing against going to the theater alone, I’ve done it plenty of times in my life for smaller more independent ventures and I’ve enjoyed it thoroughly. The majority of the shows I’ve seen during my stay in NYC have been with a lady friend that blossomed into something more romantic along the way. I only single her out because as our relationship evolved from a friendship into an actual relationship, I’ve managed to stay awake during most of the shows we’ve seen together. I do not know if that’s to her credit or if it just because when I see shows with her that an intermission is included. I didn’t even realize that until just now, but ninety minute showcases without a pause to walk around and grab a refreshing beverage are the death of me. Or they’re at least the coma of me because I find it almost impossible to not fall into some form of slumber. I also mention out the lady in my life because these were two shows that I saw with men. One a roommate, one a cousin, actually them being men really doesn’t influence anything at all and I think it’s more that they were one act plays and I just have a hard time staying awake in a dark room even on uncomfortable chairs. At the very least with Cousin John, I saw another musical with him earlier in that day that was lovely and that I was totally awake for. I was also with the aforementioned Brazilian belle. Is that a coincidence? That I was awake for it? I don’t really think so at all and was probably more closely related to the fact that it was a musical and had a damn intermission!

This will be one of the shorter posts because thinking I could adequately even speak in detail about these shows would be a complete lie. These were some of my more recent shows too, these weren’t a month and a half ago, this was just a couple weeks ago. Hell, 55 Shades of Gay was literally less than a week ago. I will devote a single paragraph to each show because though I’d like to give a riveting play by play, I can safely say that through both of them the vast majority of my commentary would involve my head falling forward and snapping back up as I say “Don’t worry, I’m awake,” to confused looks beside me. One fun fact about both these performances is that they were primarily dominated by gay men. I want to specify that I am not homophobic just because I was unable to stay awake. It has nothing to do with my personal beliefs about the LGBTQIA+ and just rather my personal vendetta against plays over an hour without an intermission.

The Cake with Cousin John. What is there to say about The Cake that hasn’t been said already? Something about baking, something about an older woman having questionable takes on lesbian relationships, something about a straight woman’s failing marriage, something about a lesbian couple’s failing relationship. Then it somehow all gets resolved in the end and I guess that’s a happy ending, but I’m pretty sure the main woman still has questionable, wrong views on homosexuality based off a too literal reading of the Bible? The most memorable thing about this play is that Kitty from That 70’s Show was the star and some actors were better than the others and it was very obvious which did not do the play any favors. Cousin John was not a fan and I think both of us wished we’d probably have chosen something else to do instead. Regardless, it was only 25$ each and if that’s the best thing I can say about a show, then maybe that’s not a roaring approval. My main memory of this is both trying to resist falling asleep and having an intense desire to use the toilet. The combination of these two events led it where I started sweating profusely and still went in and out of sleep. There’s your review, put it on the poster.

At least with 55 Shades of Gay, the other person I was with enjoyed it. Again, it’s not like I plan on going into these performances just to fall asleep. In my defense, there was at least 15 minutes of just waiting for the show to begin after the start time and that just don’t fly with me boy. Are there key memories from this event? Sure, like a lack of intermission. Also, an empty coat rack that only me and Michael used. There were some Mexican beers being offered and there was also a bathroom line that got very crowded. I know the story impacted him, I know it was about a certain European country with progressive gay policies that later got changed when they actually started having gay people try to utilize them. It was Serbia, it was Serbian, it was the Baltic states? Listen, I went in and out of sleep very quickly and I couldn’t help myself. I think after the third time of elbowing me to keep me awake as well that Michael just gave up and I try as I might, I succumbed to the slumber. It’s like I want to go on a beautiful commentary about how it was a great modern art represtentation of the LGBTQ experience in eastern Europe, and I wish I could but I can not. It’d be doing a disservice to try to make up false claims that are based off hazy memories. Regardless, regardless of my own views on “modern dance burlesque”, I’m glad to see minority populations getting representation and making more and more art. I’m interested in their art, I think their art is important, even if I’m not fully understanding or comprehending of it, keep at it.

At the very least, I hope I gave a good enough time to my roommate for him to want to come to a show of some sort at some point again in the future. I understand theatre isn’t for everyone and my passionate fandom for it might be a bit more extreme than some other people, but it’s definitely something that’s more enjoyable to go to with another person. Seeing a movie? Just as fun alone. Seeing a play? There’s the time where it’s brightly lit before hand, there’s the intermission (hopefully!), there’s the post show processing at a too expensive bar. It’s more of an experience and it’s an experience that works even better with others. Plus, it’s always nice to have someone that can hopefully assist in keeping you awake. I’m also just happy that I go to take Cojo/Cousin John/John (depending on his mood) to his first Broadway show. The first Broadway show I am yet to write about and instead have just reviewed some thoughts on a show he probably wish he didn’t see. Still, there will be higher praise for the other show he witnessed and I think it’ll inspire him to come to some more shows if he ever returns to the city. I need to shut up though, this “review” is one of my longest ever and it’s for two shows that I barely remember. So it goes.


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