Lights, Camera, Action!

Thus Hank began his minute by minute recap of his first day at the children’s hospital. That would be a hoot wouldn’t it? You really think I can remember what I did a few minutes ago, let alone a few hours ago? The answer is no for those of you who do think I have an average, normal short term memory. The main lesson learned today was that I would be completely screwed if it wasn’t for Denis. I am under the belief that he has only one N in his name for I’m also not the type of person who would just assume someone isn’t named Dennis. He may not speak Arabic but he does speak French pretty well and with his background of being pediatrician, he’s able to tell me lots of things about what the kids are going through that I don’t understand at all and just happen to nod and pretend that I do. It’s interesting surely, yet interesting doesn’t make up for my lack of medical knowledge when he uses words that stand for parts of our body that I didn’t even know existed. I mention this conversations because for this first hour and a half or so, the asthma ward was calmer than he’d ever seen it in his couple of weeks there. I also didn’t know asthma incorporated sending toddlers to Switzerland for heart bypass surgery, which again shows my ignorance on the potential severity of common ailments. Soon after that though we moved onto a place that I should be able to remember but it’s in French and even though I think I can remember it, I would have no idea how to spell it. Upon my arrival there, it was made quite apparent how dumb I am. That’s not true. Or maybe it is true. It’s probably true to the staff that worked there. Works there. Might as well keep it present tense, I sincerely doubt that they’ll be canned by tomorrow. From two toddlers to fifteen children of varying ages, Denis and I forged on. Ready for the battle of having to actually deal with children like we planned and were excited to do. Maybe when you’re a doctor who studied medicine in Italy, and took French in preparation to work for Doctors Without Borders in Sub-Saharan Africa, you’re more inclined to pick up languages easier than a boy who could muster up two sentences in Spanish after living in Latin America for four months. Muster up two sentences in a conversation. At a time. Like hundreds of sentences, just not like, in a row. Something like that. All I know is that it led to an attractive either nurse or Sociology student doing this as an internship yelling at me in regards to the Arabic element. As the manly man I am, I stood there and took it with an extremely goofy expression on my face because I had no idea what she was saying and no matter what you’re saying in Arabic it always sounds like you’re yelling. Was she yelling? I still don’t know. I just know apparently her words were trying to say “Would you like to learn some more Arabic” and my face said “I’m peeing my pants right now whilst also watching a clown perform an uproarious act of physical comedy.” That’s not the point though. The point is that I got to play with action figures with a five year old and have a tyrannosaurus rex fight a helicopter pilot who also happened to be carrying a sword. And oh wait, King Kong too. The dinosaur won. Because of course it did. I did mention something that had a semblance of a relationship to filmmaking didn’t I? As the title. Yes, yes, I did. A camera crew, a news crew, a camera man, did appear in the building that I can not name due to it being French and started taping. Am I star? Probably. What was I doing? Sitting at the least occupied table that held about two kids while the other two tables had about seven children and their mothers? Yes. Did the camera ever pan over at me? I’m not sure because I was so focused on what I was doing that I didn’t want to look like I was star struck. As I am a star, why would the camera bother me? Let’s go with the possibility that there’s a small chance that camera avoided catching me because I didn’t need anymore attention. However, on the off chance that they did, or even if they didn’t, I’m going to tell you what they would’ve seen. They would have seen me struggling to put a pink saddle onto a camel toy. I’m pretty the pink saddle didn’t have anything to do with the camel because it already had a saddle on, and the bright gaudy pink looked completely out of place but I sure struggled with that for quite a few minutes. I also moved a semi realistic gun from off the table because I didn’t know the stance on toddler violence. I also stared around the room helplessly as a child kept saying “Mama” and I had no idea who her mother was and I had no ability to communicate in a language of which she could understand. That’s great television! So it goes.


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