Zoinks! Craiky! I’ve always wanted to start a blog combining my two favorite men in the history of entertainment media. Shaggy and Steve Irwin. And yes, I do mean Shaggy from Scooby-Doo but I also think that Shaggy of “It Wasn’t Me” fame would probably be in my top 5. I should mention that the only reason I even started quoting the beloved Casey Kasem and Stevie boy was because I realized how long it has been since I’ve even written a blog. Which was upsetting. Because going back to Alabama for the first time in four years is a pretty momentous occasion and I’m definitely experiencing things that I haven’t in quite some time. With that said, this blog is not about how I haven’t been blogging. This paragraph is just something I did not have planned to write but I felt I needed to include it.
I want to write a musical. I don’t even know what I mean by that but I wanted to write a blog about it because I feel that when I start typing stuff then ideas come to my head and I start to achieve some clarity. Why do I want to write a musical? That’s a good question. Maybe just because I like musicals. Maybe because when I was abroad and truly was devoted to this blog, everyone told me, “Hank you should write a book.” Do I have desire to write a book though? No, not entirely. I mean sure, a lot of actors who never amounted much in their careers write memoirs about their life of which no one is interested. At least I could probably write something more entertaining than a D-List celebrity. Apparently David Hasselhoff has written a book. Apparently he’s also released over 1o musical albums too. And he’s starred in musicals! I never knew one could get so much work over a show about lifeguards and working with a talking car with the voice of Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World. And now they’re making a R-Rated version of Baywatch too for a movie? Sure, I watched the show and I enjoyed it but I was young then! I was dumb! I was easily transfixed by large chested women in one piece bathing suits. See, this is what I’m saying about the blog and never knowing where it’ll go. I had no idea I’d go on a rant about how Baywatch is an actual thing. I don’t know man, I just very much enjoy improvising beautiful songs of wonder on the fly. I feel if there was ever a Glee or Pitch Perfect or even just any acapella group devoted explicitly to made up original, quasi-offensive songs then I’d be your guy. Does this mean I have any idea on how to formulate a musical? No, no, of course I don’t. I mean I knew this before but I barely realized that I might be better suited for writing an opera. Except I don’t think anyone would ever be interested in an opera by yours truly. Opera just seems too regal, it seems that it’s full of singers with their vibrato and high class. I just forgot that a musical actually has a plot and dialogue outside of the songs. You’re right though invisible person that I’m pretending to speak to, there has to be a person that just writes the songbook. Do people actually do both? That’s like writing a movie script and producing an album. People don’t have that much talent, you gotta pick and choose! Oh golly, this could be a lot harder than what I thought. Maybe I want to write an experimental album that tells a story throughout the songs. But that makes it seem like I’d want to ever perform this, I don’t want to perform this, I want to write parts for “Ensemble” and “Tree #2.” What I’m trying to say is that I don’t aspire to be John Travolta, I just aspire to create the next John Travolta. Unless you’re the time that argued Saturday Night Fever made John Travolta compared to Grease and you could be right but I’ve only seen Grease so I’m going with what I know, even though Saturday Night Fever could also be a musical as well and I’m not sure because I’ve never seen it but didn’t a Beegee write it? You get it. You get what I’m saying. I have no idea how to write a play, though I have no idea how to write anything. I just do. So with that said, I will begin to formulate this musical. I might just write random songs. I guess it is true that musicals are supposed to have a plot and be linked thematically. It’ll all work out. I just wanted to type this out in the blogosphere so maybe I actually begin work on my magnum opus. Though I imagine one wouldn’t say their first work is their magnum opus. I’m not a one hit wonder. I’m Andrew Lloyd Webber. But…better. Better though I have no experience and he’s considered one of the all time greats. Getting a bit too cocky. I’m sorry, I’m just trying to motivate myself! Hank Wolf: The Musical. Coming soon. So it goes.