Here comes the thrilling conclusion to the Leonard saga. Like all good movies that ended with their second, so concludes this tale. I can’t think of a lot of series that concluded at a second and didn’t go to even more sequels that typically worsen as they progress. So let’s just say this is The Godfather 2 and pretend that a third doesn’t exist like in that storied franchise. Leonard went AMA on Friday which means he left against medical advice and self-discharged himself. That’s it. That’s the conclusion of the story. I successfully convinced him to enter rehab and then he lasted less than 48 hours before he bounced. I guess the moral of the story is I still gave him 2 more days clean and that’s better than him not having that. Doesn’t entirely make it feel better or make me feel accomplished, but I gotta look on the bright side somehow. Especially today when another client got kicked out of the program for being an asshole to staff. Is that my fault? No, of course not. And we’ll leave it at that because this is about Leonard.

Now that we’re done with Leonard, let’s move onto something else. As Leonard is a broken man that I didn’t have enough glue to fix, I am a tractor beam for broken toys. Sid, or Cid, or there’s no or it definitely has to be one of those two ways of spelling that name was a character in the first Toy Story. He was the kid that had the Island of Misfit Toys and created weird Frankenstein monster fusion and combinations of them. In either Toy Story 3 or 4, he was shown to be a garbageman which is a surprisingly high paying job and they make a higher salary than me. They also sometimes give children toys and are better liked than me as well. I sometimes wish I was a garbageman. I don’t normally re-read anything I wrote but I had to review the beginning of this paragraph because I didn’t even know where I was going with the whole garbageman spiel. Not all of these masterworks are written in one sitting. Sometimes I go to the bathroom and accidentally video chat a group and wonder why my phone is talking to me as I try to unzip my trousers to urinate. Brokenness, broken arrow, that 90s movie. John Travolta and Christian Slater, directed by John Woo. That’s what I wanted to talk about. A film from 1996 that I have never seen and know nothing about. I’m going to start a new paragraph because I’ve gotten so off track.

Back to Leonard, in my previous opus about him, I mentioned that I broke my couch and I blamed it on him. I seem to be getting a new part for the couch that has still yet to be delivered, but I have high hopes for it. By high hopes, I more mean, I have enough trial and error newfound knowledge as to not physically break the couch again. I didn’t think I was going to break the couch the first time, now I’ll be even more cognizant as to not break it for a second time. Do I blame that on Leonard? I do. I know it wasn’t his fault, and though he might’ve raised frustration in me that led to me taking it out on a couch, it was still my fault. Also because Leonard does not care about my couch and he will not be volunteering to come over and assemble it when the new couch part comes in. I wouldn’t even want Leonard there, and I don’t think he’d be a very good helper anyway. Sometimes I feel that a blog is going well, and other times I do not. This is one of those times that I do not and I feel I should start this over and delete everything. I’m not going to, I just feel like I should. Due to typing this while at work, I’m always nervously switching tabs to appear that I’m diligently working and I feel I’m never completely honed in on what I’m actually doing. Granted, the only reason I’m writing this in the first place is because I have so little to do that I thought it could be nice.

Leonard though. Leonard didn’t deliver my new TV, unless he did. I don’t know Leonard’s whereabouts and now that I bring it up, I wouldn’t be surprised if he delivered it. Why am I painting Leonard as a villain? He was a gentleman who suffers with schizoaffective disorder and he thinks his substance abuse problem is more manageable than it really is. If anything, he was a nice guy who’s going through a lot of mental stress and maybe didn’t make the best decision for his recovery. But to think that he delivered me a broken TV is just plain rude to accuse Leonard of. Especially because I know for a fact he didn’t become a UPS delivery man in the three days since he left this facility. Sometimes you read a book of essays and it has like 75% wonderful ones and the other 25% ranges from piss poor trash to kinda okay. I am in that 25% with this today. The whole point of this blog, this post, not this entire blog, was to just be an outlet for me to cathartically release my anger about my broken couch and broken TV. Instead it’s been me including as many references to Leonard as I can and inventing words like cathartically. Elmore Leonard, Leonard Nimoy. I knew there were other people that’ve used that name in history.

Being delivered a broken TV sucks and what sucks more is not knowing if you specifically damaged it with your handling of it, or if it just came that way. I entirely know that I broke that couch and it was my fault but I need to redact that statement because I can’t have the company reading this. I don’t know that about the couch and I’m going to still blame it on Leonard and associates because I can’t blame myself for everything broken in the world. I deal with broken people already, and I’m trying to at least stick them back together enough so that they can survive a few more days in order to get stronger glue. That’s a metaphor, albeit not a very good one. Like the men I work with, televisions are fragile, couches are fragile (if you spend less than 1,000$ on them.) I didn’t have a follow up to that comment and now it reads like a non sequitur statement. I am not on my A game today. I’m also a little late to the party of the cathartic expressions anyway, wait, that was the last paragraph. I am out of this.

Sometimes I think my brain is frazzled. Other days I think it’s razzled and dazzled. Tomorrow one of the detox employees is going on two week vacation. The senior detox counselor has been on a 5 week hiatus to prepare for further licensure. The other two detox counselors are a woman who hasn’t stepped in the office in 8 months and a woman who just started. I will essentially become the head of the detox department and I’ve spent 45 minutes today just writing over 1000 words about Leonard. I can only hope we go to a virtual schedule soon because I don’t think I can be the sole face to the detox department. I prefer to more work from the shadows than represent an entire department. If I’m already breaking couches and fiddling with broken TVs with just one Leonard, how am I going to manage to deal with 10+ a day? I wonder if that’s what George Washington was thinking when he crossed the Delaware. Delaware River? Delaware Sea? Was the state of Delaware just a liquid mass that he had to cross? I looked it up, it was the Delaware River because of course it was. It obviously wasn’t the sea. All I know is that in that famous painting, there was at least one Leonard. It’s obvious since there are a couple people that are totally doing zilch and yet they got to be memorialized on canvas for centuries. The point is, if George Washington and his wooden teeth overcame that daunting river that only people know of because of that painting, and has never been referred to as daunting before, then I can manage to run detox as a one man ship. Because shit man, George had a ton of guys in that boat with him and he was doing absolutely nothing. Like what the heck? I should’ve referenced like a proud Native American hero who carved a canoe themselves and paddled with just their hands, compared to George’s lazy ass. Screw you George Washington, you’re not an inspiration, you’re the real Leonard. I am, well, I don’t want to compare myself to a Native American because they’ve done more than I’ve ever done. All I know is that I’m better than George Washington.

Okay, before I get too off the rails with that. It does suck to have a broken couch and a broken TV. But sooner than later, those will be fixed and I won’t remember any of this. I won’t think of Leonard because I’ll be dealing with a constant influx of new faces instead and I’ll remember December as the year I supplanted myself as a better man than George Washington ever was. Sometimes you gotta be grateful for what you have, and if my worst problems are a couch that I broke and a TV that I could afford during a global pandemic, then I’m doing pretty okay. We’ll just have to wait and see how I feel in leonard 3 though. So it goes.