No, it wasn’t because he called me ugly. If it was because of that then I would have attacked the entire group of children. I should mention that it was not just me that was called ugly, as was the girl. We’re attractive people! Or at least she doesn’t deserve to be called ugly, and me on a good day, ugly is a slight exaggeration. They also didn’t have to beat us with things while they called us these horrible names. Nothing makes you feel worse than having to cower in a ball while children around the age of six throw things at your head and kick you in your teeth. Okay, the teeth kicking didn’t necessarily occur but I wouldn’t put it past them. Or him. Justin. Justin wasn’t any worse than the rest of them, he just suffered the most. Again, on accident! He may have been the one to call the girl a pinata and then proceed to beat her but it wasn’t a solo effort, he enlisted the whole squad. Or maybe he just joined in after someone else started it. He was in the wrong. I am not trying to rationalize my behavior. Especially since it was an accident. Did I regret the decision to lay on the ground and then have him treat me like a horse and he a cowboy? Sure I did. Because he seems to confuse cowboys with bullriders. Or he thought I was a bucking bronco and since I wasn’t doing the bucking, he had to simulate the bounciness himself and he did so. Repeatedly. Not an excuse for my actions. Just telling his story so there’s no sympathy for him when the moment of reckoning came upon him. It wasn’t even that bad. I’m not sure if he even cried. It just more looked like he had the fear of god, white god, instilled upon his soul. All I did was stand up. He happened to be attempting to crawl on my back. I’m not entirely sure how he did a front flip off of it. Did I assist in his gymnastics? I hope not. Not intentionally! The reality is that he front flipped off my own back face first onto a plastic crane toy. Head to the body of the crane. He took it like a champ. A champ too dazed to react kinda champ. What was impressive though? He didn’t snitch. Nor did the witnesses. They just looked upon me as a sort of monster. For ten minutes or so. Then they were over it. I made the boy not even want to eat. Instead, he’d just go to every available corner and curl up there along with stuffed animals. If there was an attempt to console him, he would reject it. He didn’t look too happy. He did eat though. He didn’t seem to bat an eye when I left though. Though I’m almost certain I heard a sigh of relief. It could have just been my imagination. I’m just hoping Justin is there tomorrow and I can make it an entire day without endangering him. So it goes.

I have arrived. I’ll have more to report in the next day or so but I wanted to let all my followers that didn’t know already that I have made it here safe and sound. It’s a little bit colder than I expected but that’s okay. The cold will just make me stronger. Or my nose will run for an infinite period of time. We’ll see which one happens. Tomorrow, I tour the city, I get orientated and it looks like I begin the volunteer work on Tuesday. I’ll keep y’all in the know. So it goes.

This is a message to you Floridians who complain that we don’t even have hills: Shut up. Sea level is a blessing. Not a curse. I’ll admit, I was one of you idiots that thought it would be nice to have some more scenery around here than just a palm tree or two. A mountain to scale would be nice. I was wrong, so so wrong. Or maybe I’d be a little less wrong if I’d actually done a bit more training or preparation for some high altitude trekking. Sadly, I don’t think I could do any training that would double my lungs in size. Do I climb these mountains though? Of course. I’m no chump. Plus, I want to show photos with great views even though people will remark “Oh wow, what a stellar view” and not “Did you have to climb a freaking mountain to take that? You’re like a modern day Hercules. Wow, I’m so impressed. I love you. Be mine forever? (Valentine’s Day reference.)” Either way, I’m excited to go to Costa Rica. I enjoyed Lake Titikaka, I enjoyed my time in Puno, I enjoyed the time in Cusco and Aguas Calientes that I didn’t write about in length as well. I may write more about them, but right now I’m sitting in a lobby of a hotel soon to be picked up to be taken to the airport so I can fly to Lima to enjoy my last night in Peru. Trust me, some cool stuff happened, but I also had a day where I stayed in entirely due to a stomach virus and the effects of that. I think you can understand the effects without me having to say them in detail. Diarrhea. A lot of it. Other things happened. Other things I may tell about. Or that’ll just be added to the mysterious legend of my life. The point is, Costa Rica tomorrow and then I’m off to change the world for the better once more. So it goes.

Hey folks, I know my time in Peru is almost over so I figured I might as well upload all the photos I have taken so far (up to yesterday) and post them on the internet for your viewing pleasure. I can’t say that every picture is a work of art, and some might be a bit hard to understand without the context but they still show a pretty good representation of what I’ve been doing or at least seeing while in Peru. Check it out, it’s only like 685 photos or so. With that number, at least fifty or so have to be decent!

https://picsurge.com/g/q1U3GO

I’d write more now but I feel my legs may fall off and that somehow affects my hands. Machu Picchu, you were a real treat. So it goes.

The millions of readers of my blog probably look at me like an infallible deity, a man capable of no wrong, an icon, a mentor, a role model, their best friend, and many other equally if not more impressive titles. Today though, today, I had a folly. A couple follies. What’s important is that I’m in my hotel in Aguas Calientes right now and that’s where I was supposed to be tonight. I’ll embark for Machu Picchu in the morning like I intended. There were just some road bumps along the way. At first I blamed it on the travel agency. I thought I had around two hours between the end of my tour today of the Sacred Valley and my train to Aguas Calientes. Maybe I did. All I know is based off that knowledge I didn’t have a bag packed for Macchu Pichu. Because I didn’t know I would need to do that. Because I figured that’s what the two hours was for. Except I expressed that to the tour guide and he’s like “Oh golly boy, you’re gonna need to get back to Cusco City and then come back to us to get on that train.” So I might have missed a couple hours at the end of the tour. In my defense, I was there for a solid five hours already. Sure, I’ll blame the itinerary for that. It wasn’t entirely clear. It was probably my fault too. What was especially my fault was what happened next. I got back to my hotel, I got my stuff, I packed a bag, and then since it took longer than I had intended to get back there, that I would forego going back to where they were because I didn’t want to get lost and lose my train. Now I blame you Google Maps. I used it to find how close the town I needed to go for the train station was. It said 2.2 kilometers. Twenty minutes walking or five by car. It says get to the train station thirty minutes early. I figured I’d leave at six for my train at seven. I get up and ask the front desk what direction to head and they say “Oh golly sir, where you’re trying to go is one and half to two hours by car.” I say “Mierde.” They laugh. We all have drinks. Part of that didn’t happen. Instead they call me a cab, a cab that may have cost around 15x the amount that the public bus I took to get back to my hotel in the first place. Granted, I never expected to pay two dollars for a ride back so I was expecting a bit of a price increase anyway. I’m freaking out though. I realize I missed my train, and now I’m just hoping there is another one I can get on. Lo and behold there is. And sure, the clerk gives me a scare when he’s like “Cash please!” and I’m like “Man, yo, I don’t got that on me ya dig big boi?” and he’s like “Well, sir, look your card magically works now!” I was grateful. I got on the train. I slept. I think. I made it. I had someone with my name. Henry Refernirmi. I have no idea if I took his spot or if that is my new name. From Hans to Needermierhss. I don’t remember the exact spelling, it was just weird and not me okay?! Of course, they asked me why I missed my first train too and saying “Well, I don’t have a good grasp of reading” wasn’t a very good answer. I just said things happened and I got mixed up and I’m glad to be here now. Which is true. I’m glad to be here. I’m glad that I’m going to see a wonder of the world tomorrow. I’m glad that I made it somehow even if it wasn’t in an ideal situation. So it goes.

As I sit here in the airport, realizing I’m essentially done with Lima, if not all of Peru, that leaving is weird. I’ve said it before and knowing me, I’m gonna say it again! Yes, I have a week left in Peru. I’m going to visit a wonder of the world, I’m going to stay on a manmade island in the middle of the highest lake in the world, and I’m going to hopefully buy a Peru shirt with one of those cool Ps. Who cares about that though? Y’all care about my last day. I say that because at least two people asked me, “How was your last day?” That’s twice as many readers as I thought I had. I was going to call Friday a bittersweet day. I don’t think that’s true though. It was more just bitter, there wasn’t as much of a sweet taste in my life. Instead it was me more having to distract myself on the ride back home so I wouldn’t break down into sobs. I always said I wanted to work with children, I’m glad at least that I enjoyed the time I did have. Though to me it would be hard to not fall in love with the kids. I imagine I’ve said that all before, that I enjoyed the time, that I enjoyed the kids, that I enjoyed the work I did. People say that they hate goodbyes, for me, it was more I didn’t know how to properly say goodbye. That could partially be because that I literally don’t know how to formulate the exact words because of the language barrier. I like to think it was more, how do you say goodbye to someone you may never see again in your life. I shouldn’t say may never, it’s almost a certainty that I’ll never see them again. Maybe Peruvian kids are nicer, maybe I just haven’t worked with children on the regular and I can only assume thoughts about them. But these kids, these kids, you don’t expect them to bond with them how strongly you do. Or maybe you do. I didn’t. Especially when I bonded with the young children so much in the beginning. Just the few weeks I spent with the older kids, and I felt like they were my own children, my own younger brother and sister, my own younger cousins that you only see at family reunions. It’s hard, it’s hard to even formulate into words how I felt. I’m two days out but I do think it’s a bit early to even have this all sit in. At the very least I’m used to weekends. I’m used to having these couple of days off. What I don’t think I’m entirely prepared for, or entirely able to even think about is what happens next week. I can understand not going for a day or two, but I’m so used to doing it. To waking up, to eating those boiled eggs, and then seeing smiling young faces that treat me like their favorite superstar. Hans!! Hans!! Hans!! Admittedly, I maybe should have also not listened to a podcast (an internet radio show) while writing this because I feel that it keeps distracting my brain from the task at hand. Or maybe it’s hard to formulate the thoughts regardless. People asked me how the last day was, as I mentioned, but I don’t even know how to describe it. That’s why I’m writing words and trying to do what I can but it’s still harder than I thought. I enjoyed the work more than I thought I would, and I loved the kids more than I thought possible. I also answered every question about me having a girlfriend with “No, but I have two cats.” I’m not sure if I’m leaving a legacy of being super cool or a legacy of “Wow, that guy is a total loser” but who cares?! Not me. Goodbyes though. I tried to make it simple. I tried to make it sweet. I tried to make it low key. Except when you’re Hans, it can’t always go like that. Which I am happy for. If I left with just a wave goodbye then I kind of would have felt a little disheartened that my efforts weren’t appreciated (which I can assume is not the case) but I did feel like a celebrity going out. One child asked for my Facebook, I wrote it down on a piece of toilet paper. This led to me writing my name on the hands of thirty children. I don’t even know their intentions with it, or they just didn’t want to be left out. I didn’t care. I felt like there should be paparazzi outside taking photos of me and all my adoring fans. There were hugs, there were smiles, there were kids telling me I should just stay for another year. Kids telling me that “You’re coming here after Costa Rica right?” It was emotional. At least on the inside. I kept my stoic face, I kept strong, and I can’t show weakness. I am the white Hulk. I am going to miss them. I hope they’re going to miss me. I’m going to miss Peru as a whole. I wasn’t entirely sure what I expected when I came here to do this volunteering. All I know is that it’s exceeded all expectations thus far. There’s been good, there’s been bad, ups and downs but that was expected at least. I’ve met great people, I’ve met people that I hope to stay in contact with forever, I’ve met people that have changed my views on things, I’ve met others that have strengthened my thoughts on other things. My only thing I’m hoping for in my next stop is that I meet someone for a bit more long term. I’ll be the first admit that I’m not the quickest to warm up to people and by the time the two or three weeks is over, I’m finally feeling that I’m really connecting with the people around me.  I want to have a chance to connect even more. Strangely enough, the night before I left, yesterday they’d call it, a new volunteer came in. His name was Kyle. Kyle 2. He’s spending 10 weeks in Peru. He just spent 12 weeks in Costa Rica. He’s doing the exact same thing as me apparently just in the reverse order. Why can’t I have something like that? I just want to have someone to journey along with. If that doesn’t happen though, I’m happy with all the new faces that I do get to see. Fresh perspectives are nice, and I went on this trip for my own self so at least I have countless time to work on me. All I know is that I love Peru, I’m excited about my final week here, but I’m even more excited for the next stop on the journey. It’s been great so far, and now I feel I’m even more prepared to make it that much more amazing. I’m thankful for those who have kept along on my journey with these posts and I’ll do my best to keep updating you on my life in the coming weeks and months. Onto the next stop, just with me visiting some ancient ruins first. I’ll work on actually uploading these now 400+ photos eventually too. Maybe even this week. I should at the very show Peru before I leave Peru. Keep with me, constant readers, we’re on this journey together. So it goes.

Of course on the day that a clown game and gave a whole freaking assembly to the center, it would be the day that I’m randomly called into the kitchen to wash dishes for an hour. Peruvian Locals Don’t Read My Blog Part 3. I witnessed some tap dancing, I witnessed some drumming. I saw scarves, I saw juggling balls, I saw a boom box. I didn’t get to witness those with my own eyes. Instead, I got to scrub wet bread scraps off of steel bowls. I am happy today wasn’t my last day. However, tomorrow is. There will be a post tomorrow or Saturday regarding all of that. It’ll be emotional, it’ll be sad, and it’ll also be weird. Weird in the sense that this has been my last two months and I’m about to leave Peru. That I’m going onto a new country to have new experiences. Leaving Is Weird Part 2 coming your way soon. Tears might even be shed. E-tears. You may not see them, but at the very least I’ll document them. So it goes.

Purple pants. We all know her. We all know how polarizing she is. We all know that she’s recently been wearing beige pants which admittedly has been throwing me off my game but I won’t be fooled that easily. I mean it’s just different colored pants, she has the same face still. It’s not a great disguise. Juanita, do you know how I know your name? Well, because someone else told me that was your name. Then I happened to forget it the next day. Know how else I know your name? Because you wrote it on the wall alongside your handprints. In nine weeks, we’ve probably spoken less than five words to one another. I know in other odes to love that I’ve made that a big part of the attraction, “the silent courtship” but with you it’s different. I do not know if you like white people. Wait, that’s not what I mean. I don’t know if you like people. I don’t think the color really matters. Okay, again, I might be too vague, too general. I don’t know if you like volunteers coming in from different countries to assist for a short period of time and then peacing out. I never worked with you. I only observed you. Some may have called you my nemesis, others called you “Who is purple pants that you’re always talking about?”. The point is, I love you. Though we didn’t share words, we did share moments where I ran into you while carrying soup. Or I backed into you while pouring drinks. Or you stole some spoons from my classroom after I specifically counted out the perfect amount of them needed. You let me carry trays to your table, you let me hug your children that came up to me and hugged me, you let me love you from afar. I imagine you’re older than Elsa and Patty and that’s okay. I’m not against being with an older woman. You can’t be that old anyway. Sure, I’ve seen you yell, I’ve seen you almost physically wrestle a child, but what else have I seen you do? Jog in such a cute way that I thought, “Wow…what a cute way to jog.” I’ve seen you yell some more. Know what I took from that? That you care. That you care about your job, that you care about kids or at the very least you’re auditioning to become a drill sergeant. We can join the military together. I can be one of those civilian people that don’t do anything resembling combat and you can whip young bucks into shape. You keep an air of mystery about you. More so than most of the teachers. I say this because when I can’t speak the language fluently, every teacher is mysterious in her own way. You barely seem to associate with the other teachers as well though. I know, I watch. Ahem, I mean observe. I feel there’s probably five movies where Zooey Deschanel awkwardly walks into something or a man and they have their meet-cute and romance blossoms. I like to think you’re a Peruvian Zooey. I like to think I’m some random indie film actor who would play the love interest in that film. When I burn you with hot soup you might not think it’s romantic but the audience does. They don’t see burns, they see a burning of the loins. I want to make it clear that I haven’t actually burned you enough to warrant a hospital visit or anything. I just have bumped into you countless times and you may have spilled things on my accord. It’s cute, okay! If I wore giant thick rimmed glasses, and you wore a dress out of the 50s, we’d make a killing at the box office. Just think about it, Juanita. Dear Juanita, who of course did her hand prints in purple. We both know you wouldn’t have it any other way. Just like I can’t have a world without you. So it goes.

I gave up writing about sports after I blogged and had the teams I supported lose. Apparently that didn’t do much. Since I’ve been abroad, every single team that I’ve supported has lost in their big game. Thanks a lot Seahawks. I have no idea why you throw a pass from the 2 yard line when you have one of the best running backs in the NFL on your team. Based off that call you deserved to lose. At least you lost to the GOAT. Because I don’t think anyone is going to be arguing against Tom Brady being the best now. Most likely I’ll still be abroad during the NBA Finals. That I now probably won’t even watch because I can’t get disappointed again. So it goes.